Recently I overheard a question. "How can I forgive God for this terrible thing that has happened to me?" I have heard that question before, and I find it always puzzling. I have wondered about forgiving lots of folks during a time of traumatic loss. I have struggled with meaning and purpose and direction. But I must say that I did not find my way down the path of blaming God for my calamities.
Miroslav Volf reminds us that to forgive is first of all to accuse. So to have the need to forgive God for my misfortunes means that I accuse God of wrongdoing. We can try to explain our way around that one, but there is no other way to resolve it. If God needs my forgiving, then God has done something wrong that needs my forgiveness.
I have no idea how the Divine Plan works. I am routinely puzzled and even flummoxed by how things transpire. That is true in terms of tragedy. It is also true in terms of blessing (more on that later). But if I thought that God at some points intended evil for me, then I would sigh and return in resignation to my days long ago of foolish atheism.
Martin Luther reminds us in his Large Catechism that to believe in God is to believe that God is good. That trust includes believing that all good comes from God and nothing evil comes from God. If I believe that God exists and also believe that God is the author of my troubles, then why in the world would I have anything to do with such a god? Such a god would be fully and finally unreliable. Such a god would be the opposite of the God described in the Bible--the God of steadfast love.
I love the scene in the fine movie, Bruce Almighty. Bruce Nolan has had enough setbacks (never mind his role in them). Now he wants to have a less than cordial conversation with The Management. "Fine! The gloves are off, pal!" he shouts to the heavens. "Come on! Let me see a little wrath. Smite me, O mighty smiter! You're the one who should be fired! The only one around here not doing his job is you!" Here is that clip, but I recommend buying the movie:
Later Bruce comes to understand that God and life don't really work that way. I have struggled to accept what has happened to me at various points in my life. I have longed to hold someone else responsible. I have believed that blaming someone--even God--might be preferable to the damnable randomness that sin introduces into Creation. But in the end, God doesn't need my forgiveness. If God needs my forgiveness, that's a god not worthy my time or trust.
So I pray always for the gift of acceptance. I pray that I may accept what comes my way. That is as true of the blessings as it is of the tragedies. But how many people ever wonder why good things happen to us? That stuff we simply take for granted, and God rarely gets "extra credit" from us. And then I pray for the gift of perspective. I can't do anything with the deficits in my life--the losses, the tragedies, the setbacks--except to learn from them.
I can, however, focus on the assets, the strengths, the blessings, the opportunities, that come my way. Reality is inscrutable. I cannot change it very much. But I can have all sorts of impact on how I see my life and what I do with it.
God is God. God is good. I am the one who needs forgiving. And God never wonders about whether to forgive me or not.
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