Is It Worth It?

"Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not carry the cross and follow me cannot be my disciple." (Luke 14:26-27)

I really dislike this text...I know, so do you.   So, we preachers can just suck it up and deal with it, eh? The question is not whether we will make sacrifices for something or someone.  We will.  We will give our lives for loved ones, friends, work, community, politics, charitable causes, sports teams, chemicals, gambling...or something.  Keeping our lives to ourselves is not one of the options.  So let's stop worrying about that question.

The real question is whether we will sacrifice for something that is worthy of the price we will pay. Sometimes making sacrifices makes us happier.  Sometimes making sacrifices makes us miserable. What factors account for the differences?

Some psychologists point the difference between approach-motivated sacrifice and avoidance-motivated sacrifice.  Check out, for example, the information at http://psych-your-mind.blogspot.com/2011/04/approaching-happiness-importance-of.html.  Approach-motivated sacrifice makes sense because we used the self-denial to build deeper relationships, to create more personal and social value, and (in rough terms) to make the world a better place.  Approach-motivated goals will cohere with the meaning and significance we make in this life.  We dare not make sacrifices in order to get something.  But often the fringe benefits of approach-motivated sacrifice are, in hindsight, worth the pain and effort.

Avoidance-motivated sacrifice is intended to minimize conflict and risk.  It may sometimes be useful in the short run.  However, if that is the primary mode of one's sacrifices, then the long-term results will be frustration and even misery.

I can sacrifice to make you happy because I love you and want the best for you.  That is approach-motivated.  Or I can sacrifice to make you happy because I am afraid you will abandon me if I don't keep you happy.  That is avoidance-motivated.  Life is not always quite so clear cut as this distinction makes it sound, but we all know when we are doing the one or the other.

I am not for a moment suggesting that this sort of psychological analysis can be directly applied to Jesus' words.  That sort of anachronistic eisegesis (ask your preacher friends if that sounds like gobbledy-gook) tells you little about Jesus the speaker and a great deal about me the listener.  On the other hand, this analysis can help us to sort our way through some of our responses to this challenging text.

It is not usually the case that I am deciding whether to sacrifice or not.  Instead, I am usually deciding which sacrifice to embrace at the moment.  Shall I accept a call for less money in a setting that is economically challenged?  I might do that in order to advance the gospel, but I would be asking my family to participate in that financial sacrifice.  Shall I stay put, hunker down, and look for something close by?  I might do that in order care for my family, but will that be best for the church?

People make these sorts of choices all the time.  This isn't just preacher business.  Will I make sacrifices for worthwhile reasons?  Will my loved ones and I give up something in order to advance the gospel and draw closer to Jesus?  Discernment is a daily discipline.