The Two Way Street

This Sunday we will read together the "Parable of the Unforgiving Slave."  You can find that passage at http://biblia.com/books/nrsv/Mt18.21-35.  The punch line of the parable is jarring.  "So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you," Jesus tells his disciples, "if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart."  Is this a simple exchange of goods and services?  Is our reconciled relationship with the Creator of all things conditional on our willingness to let go of the sins of others?

If so, it seems that grace has gone out the window.

In fact, forgiving and being forgiven travel the same road.  This is the real basis of the punch line. When I hang on to my desires for revenge, when I cling to my self-justifying stories, when I put being right ahead of being in relationship, I will find it difficult to receive and experience forgiveness--whether that is from God or from another human (or even from myself).

It isn't that God will refuse to forgive.  It is instead the case that I will be unwilling and ultimately unable to accept forgiveness.  I will cease to have resentments.  Instead, I will simply become my resentment.  When that happens, the good things in this life will be swimming against the tide of righteous self-absorption.  And that tide will sweep the good things of this life back out of my heart.

This is what the Evil One desires--that I would be so resentful, so suspicious, so defensive and so fearful, that I will cut myself off from all others.  This is what the Evil One desires--that I will live and die afraid and alone, isolated and alienated, but self-justified to the end.

The path to life is, instead, rooted in humility and paved with compassion.  It is possible that the other person might be right.  It is possible that there is more to the story than I imagine.  It is possible that if I see things from another perspective, my mind and heart might change.  It is possible that even if the other person is really, really wrong, I might at least develop some empathy that will cure me of the worst of my hatred.

Forgiving is first of all about removing the roadblocks of resentment and rage.