Insight Problems, Part Two

In my last post, I described David Perkins' book called Archimedes' Bathtub.  Perkins explores the dynamics of creative insight, particularly in terms of what he calls "insight problems."  Insight problems are the ones that require a fundamental shift in worldview before they will surrender to a solution.  

Living with loss, I think, fits Perkins' description of an "insight problem."  Perkins describes four elements of normal problem solving that create issues when we address insight problems: 

• getting lost in the possibilities 
• finding experience to be featureless and empty of clues for going forward 
• tunnel vision
• "almost" solutions that don't quite work

Perkins' suggests some solution strategies for responding to insight problems.  Those strategies include "roving, detecting, reframing, and decentering."  I think we can use each of these and all of them in combination to move ourselves out of those periodic funks that are normal to living with loss.

He describes roving as "exploring the possibilities widely, trying this and that."  I find this to be as simple as doing some physical roving--taking a walk, working out, getting a change of scenery, or finding someone else to help for a while.  I continue to be pleasantly surprised by how effective that one choice can be for feeling better.  Sometimes it is helpful to do some mental and emotional roving as well--to watch a funny movie, read a mindless novel, or play a brain-building game on the Internet.

A second strategy Perkins labels as detecting.  He notes that many times what is not said in the statement of a problem is more important than what is said.  What have I assumed that I know about living with loss?  Perhaps it's time to become a bit more of an expert on my own condition in order to see if I've missed an opportunity or insight.  Maybe I need to go back and read something that didn't quite connect the first time or review my journal to notice a pattern I overlooked before.

Reframing is a third strategy for moving forward in bereavement.  What am I supposed to learn today?  What is my part in my own struggles?  How might I look at my life from the perspective of my loved one lost or another family member or friend?  How can I get a bit of distance in order to have some self-empathy rather than self-pity?  How can I step back in order to move forward?

The fourth strategy Perkins mentions is decentering.  "To decenter," he writes, "is to move away from seductive approaches that don't really work."  The most seductive approach, especially for most of us men, is to just tough it out and act like nothing is wrong.  That doesn't ever work.  What we can do is feel the feelings and remember that feelings come and go.  They are temporary.  If we can refrain from focusing our full attention on them, we can let them arrive and leave.  I feel my feelings, but I don't have to be defined by them.

Roving, detecting, reframing and decentering--these are strategies worth considering as we live with the ongoing insight problem called living with loss.