I Am Temporary

"Temporary" may be one of the best words in the English language. 

It is our human condition--limited by time, finite in duration, transient and shifting. "Temporary"--this is a word that frightens us to our toenails. Because we are temporary, we may not live in the same place tomorrow. We may lose a loved one. We may be seeking a different job. We may have to acknowledge the essential instability of mortal existence. We may have to change...again.

So we cling to the illusion of permanence.

But I speak a good word for the impermanent. Our emotions, for example, are frequent but fleeting. In a stretch of ten minutes we may feel elated, depressed, angry, loving and somber. These brief impressions pass through our brains and bodies like spring breezes. And they can shift direction just as quickly. It is only our responses that cause them to take root and grow.

We suffer the illusion of permanence in the midst of our emotions. When I am sad, time seems suspended. The minutes are as long as days, and the world is gray for as far as my eyes can see. What a rescue it is to discover that I can change my world simply by saying, "This too shall pass." It is temporary. It cannot last if I do not sustain it. I can feel the feel and let it go.

The moments of joy suspend time equally as well. When I rejoice, time spreads before me like an unending banquet. But it cannot last. Even the best food loses its taste after a few mouths full. If I do not pass in and out of joy I will soon lose my capacity for it. If I am saturated with happiness, I will cease to be aware of it. It is temporary, and gloriously so. Otherwise, joy becomes just another shade of gray.

So the real glory of being human is to embrace "temporary." When we do that, we become aware of being alive. Temporary means that we have the chance to be awakened moment by moment to the next experience. And we have the opportunity to choose how we will respond. This is the essence of what many traditions call mindfulness. Mindfulness is choosing to see the real colors of this life rather than to settle for the gray safety of sameness.

Sadness comes, and then it goes. Happiness comes, and then it goes. I give thanks to God for being temporary. I pray to God to be released from the illusion of permanence. I choose to be conscious and to swim in the river of the day. Drifting with the current may require the least effort, but it is a sort of premature death. Choosing to swim requires effort and intention, but it is the essence of being alive.

Because I am temporary, I can change--my feelings, my responses, my situation. Permanence is a prison. We are made to be on the move, to explore novel territory, to court the possibility of adventure. We are like the weather. Don't like things now? Wait ten minutes. Things will change. I will change. What a relief!

I am temporary--limited in time and therefore awake to the possibilities of existence. God save us from the terrible temptations of permanence.