In the Land of Two Norms

I'm working on a new book that tries to connect the insights of positive psychology with how we "do" stewardship in congregations. I believe that much of what we do in such efforts works against the grain of how humans are actually wired. It's not that I believe people cannot be compassionate, generous, and self-sacrificing. In fact, I believe that we are made for precisely such outcomes. 

However, we are also bent by sin in the directions of self-absorption, suspicion and greed. It may be that some of our stewardship practices in the church actually reinforce our worst tendencies rather than our best ones.

For example, I am reflecting on Dan Ariely's discussion of the relationship between social and market norms. You can find that discussion in his book, Predictably Irrational. Let me share some of my working notes.

One of the confusing things about church giving is that it puts us in the land of two Norms. I don’t mean that we’re living in a place with two fellows named Norman. I mean that we live, as economists have long pointed out, in a land of social norms and a land of market norms. “Social norms are wrapped up in our social nature,” Dan Ariely writes, “and our need for community.” It is social norms, for example, that make a free willing offering more productive at a youth-sponsored fundraiser than a fee for products or services.

The other land is the hard-edged territory of rational exchange and quid pro quo. “When you are in the domain of market norms,” Ariely continues, “you get what you pay for—that’s just the way it is.”  We would never think about accepting freewill donations at our church-sponsored garage sale. The social norms are not at work in that setting. It is a marketplace through and through. After all, have you ever attended a youth fundraiser where someone tried to negotiate a lower price for the meal? But that happens all the time at the garage sale.

The difficulty is that our church giving lives in both lands with very little clarity. We don’t pay fees for services at church. In fact, if one of my parishioners wants to pay me for an hour of pastoral counseling, I feel either a little embarrassed or a little irritated. I don’t spend that hour with a parishioner on the basis of a fee for service contract. I spend that time because we are in community together. And I am wired the same as any other person. I will work harder to care for someone connected to me than I ever would for someone who is a cash customer.

On the other hand, when I spend time with mediation clients, we work out a fee for services agreement in advance. And I receive payment at the end of each session. That is a clear market arrangement. The complication arises when people import market norms into church life. I cannot count the number of times I have heard a cautious church board member say, “After all, Pastor, a church is also a business.” That statement is intended to trump any naive idealism about how much people might be willing to give if properly challenged. 

The real problem isn’t the ambiguity of living in the Land of Two Norms. Instead, the problem is that the two norms have trouble co-existing in the same land. As long as we depend on social norms to guide our behavior, we will give our time, talent and treasure willingly and even joyfully. Cheerful giving is absolutely dependent on the primacy of social norms in the life of the church. It is deadly to have market norms guide our church stewardship thinking “because,” as Dan Ariely reminds us, “once market norms enter our considerations, the social norms depart.” 

This is why “Stewardship and Finance” committees are almost always just “Finance” committees. The focus on finance is largely guided and driven by market norms. Those market norms drive out the social norms that might guide and even inspire a stewardship committee. It is a best practice to separate stewardship and finance functions in a church and to give primacy to the stewardship emphasis of the church. Otherwise the one norm will drive out the other.

On another note, I invite you to check out my most recent e-book, published on Amazon. It's called But There's More: Funeral Messages for Any Occasion. Whether you're a preacher or not, I think you'll find inspiration and hope in these messages.