From Happiness to Hope

I just read an article entitled “15 Things You Should Give Up on to Be Happy.”  You can find the article at http://www.purposefairy.com/3308/15-things-you-should-give-up-in-order-to-be-happy/.  I recommend it to you.

If you give up on those things, however, what thoughts, intentions and behaviors will you put in their place?  I’d like to put the items from the "15 Things" article into a framework and then make a few suggestions.  The framework will become familiar to those who read this blog regularly.  It is the acronym “I-HOPE.”  I’ll put the various statements into these categories.

I=Identity:

1. GIVE UP YOUR NEED TO ALWAYS BE RIGHT

8. GIVE UP YOUR NEED TO IMPRESS OTHERS

10. GIVE UP LABELS

These unproductive behaviors are often rooted in a poor sense of myself.  If I am uncertain about who I am and what my value is, then I will be unwilling to concede anything to anyone else.  Choose to be in relationship rather than just being right.  Impact others rather than merely impressing them.  Engage others as people rather than entombing them in labels.

H=Help:

2. GIVE UP YOUR NEED FOR CONTROL

6. GIVE UP COMPLAINING

12. GIVE UP YOUR EXCUSES

Most of us would rather die than ask for appropriate help.  But help runs in two directions.  Those most able to ask for help are those most willing to give it.  Giving and receiving help make up a strategy for hopeful living.  Control is an illusion unless it is self-control.  Complaining is a way to vent energy without taking responsibility.  Excuses are roadblocks to effective action.  Do what you can.  Describe things as positively as possible.  Look for solutions rather than excuses.

O=Optimistic Thinking Styles:

3. GIVE UP ON BLAME

4. GIVE UP YOUR SELF-DEFEATING SELF-TALK

5. GIVE UP YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS

11. GIVE UP ON YOUR FEARS

Optimistic thinking styles see bad things as temporary in duration and limited in scope, and good things as permanent in duration and pervasive in scope.  Blame stops progress.  Poor self-talk creates a negative spiral of poor performance.  Using words like “always” and “never” about yourself will close doors that God wishes to open.  Fear is not an illusion (no matter what this article says).  It is, rather, a temporary warning system that allows us assess threats and to take proper action.  Face the fear and then move forward.

P=Pathway Flexibility:

7. GIVE UP THE LUXURY OF CRITICISM

9. GIVE UP YOUR RESISTANCE TO CHANGE

There is always another way forward, if we are willing to make the changes necessary.  Creativity is a critical element of hopeful living.  Often the alternative pathways involve help and support from others.  Is there another right answer to the problem you face?  Is there someone else who needs to walk with you on this part of the journey?  Is there another direction you can go to move into a happier and healthier future?

E=Ends/purposes that matter:

13. GIVE UP THE PAST

14. GIVE UP ATTACHMENT

15. GIVE UP LIVING YOUR LIFE TO OTHER PEOPLE’S EXPECTATIONS

Are you giving your life and energy and love to goals and purposes that really matter to you?  Fixing the past is not very productive.  It may be necessary to make amends where possible.  However, it is the present where action happens and plans can only affect the future.  Living for a purpose greater than myself (and beyond trying to satisfy others) is the great payoff of hope-filled living.

Give up these fifteen things.  Put hope-filled living in their places.