Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Master Strength

"Self absorption is the root of all pathology."  That was my CPE supervisor's favorite mantra.  It has stuck with me over the years and served me well.

The converse has been slower to develop and lodge in my brain.  Gratitude and mission are the roots of real happiness.  The positive psychology folks have this ongoing debate about how to name the so-called "master strength."  Is it happiness (Seligman)?  Is it hope (Snyder)?  Is it self-reliance (Bandur)?    Is it meaning and purpose (Kashdan)?  I'm not really sure.  Each of those elements seems to be an aspect of each of the other elements.  So the debate continues and new experiments and data are produced.  Hurrah for the debate!

I want to improvise one more time on the themes from We Bought a Zoo.  That book goes on my master bibliography for the bereaved.  As Benjamin Mee closes his book--after the nerves of final government inspection and the euphoria of a grand opening day--he reflects on some of the meaning of it.  He shares a phone conversation with a friend early in the zoo process.  "It's like your whole life has been a preparation for this moment," the friend enthused.

Mee agrees.  "And it does seem like that.  It feels like a vocation" (We Bought a Zoo, page 252).  If I have to pick a master strength, I pick meaning and purpose (sorry, Dr. Seligman).  Benjamin Mee was fortunate to have chosen the zoo before Katherine died.  He had two choices after that.  He could allow it to fail and take down his family, employees and the animals with him.  Or he could embrace the mission in the midst of his grief and pain.  We know that he chose the latter.

That mission gave him life beyond himself.  Even though he is a restrained Brit, he does share in momentary mentions the fact that he needed to go off and cry with some regularly for months after his wife's death.  But then it is back to the zoo, and especially to those animals who grabbed his heart and depended on him for their lives.  Self-absorption was not an option for Mee.  And in the midst of his bereavement, he found daily moments of hope, joy and purpose.

Mee ends his book by saying thank you to everyone, but especially to his dad--the senior Ben Mee.  Throughout the book we know that the senior Ben would not have approved of such a wild and risky venture.  We also know by the end that the junior Ben feels his father's blessing and approval.  We get to hear in clear words how grateful the junior Ben is for his father's care and wisdom and strength.

Gratitude is the only real way out of the darkness of death and into the light of life.  We who follow Jesus express our gratitude daily for the defeat of death we know through the Resurrection of Jesus on Easter morning.  We express our gratitude daily for the goodness of Creation and for the power for living we receive through the Holy Spirit.  And we learn to give thanks in all things, regardless of our external circumstances.  We regularly echo Paul's words in Philippians 4:
"for I have learned to be content with whatever I have. I know what it is to have little, and I know what it is to have plenty. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being well-fed and of going hungry, of having plenty and of being in need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me."
For those of us who follow Jesus, here is the "master strength."  For us, it is the Master's Strength that flows through our lives and changes us from the inside out.  It changes us to be people who can be content in all circumstances and thus in bondage to none.  We live on the Master's Strength.

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