News sources are lifting up the resilience of the survivors of Oklahoma tornados. Celebrities and government officials describe those moving forward in the wake of the winds as tough and strong and....well, resilient. That's all as it should be. But what does into "resilience"? And how unusual is this quality?
Studies demonstrate repeatedly that resilience is a common characteristic. In "Ordinary Magic: Resilience Processes in Development," Ann S. Masten explored the resiliency of children who grow up "under the threat of disadvantage and adversity." She noted that in media reports resilience is reported as rare, remarkable and even heroic in children who grow up in difficult circumstances. Masten's study reveals a quite different phenomenon.
"The great surprise of resilience research is the ordinariness of the phenomena. Resilience appears to be a common phenomenon that results in most cases from the operation of basic human adaptational systems. If those systems are protected and in good working order, development is robust even in the face of severe adversity..."
An online copy of the article can be found at
Masten defines resilience as "a class of phenomena characterized by good outcomes in spite of serious threats to adaptation or development." The research indicates that children can live good and healthy lives in face of all sorts of adversity as long as they have healthy support from parents and have not been damaged physically or cognitively either before or as a result of the adverse circumstances.
In fact, adverse circumstances, when successfully overcome, can be a key not only to further resiliency but also a key to real self-esteem. Genuine self-esteem is not a goal in and of itself. Rather it is a by-product of successfully navigating difficult life terrain. Snyder gives this summary in The Psychology of Hope:
"In the future of our species, the bottom line is that we are going to have to think about and achieve some difficult individual and collective goals. Hope is the underlying mechanism for this process, and self-esteem is a natural, welcomed bonus when we succeed."
I share this perspective, for example, in the parenting class I teach. Children of divorce are not destined for difficulty based on the sheer fact of parental divorce. With healthy support from and interaction between the divorcing parents, the children can not only survive but even flourish. With good support, the adverse events can become a source of new strength and even greater self-esteem. Resilience can be developed and deepened under the proper conditions.
We parents are not nearly as able as we think we are to screw up our children. A modicum of healthy relationship, a focus on the well-being of the children, and a desire to co-parent well--that's enough for children to flourish in the adversity of post-divorce life.
Resilience is, therefore, what Masten calls "ordinary magic." She notes, "Resilience does not come from rare and special qualities, but from the everyday magic of ordinary, normative human resources in the minds, brains, and bodies of children, in their families and relationships, and in their communities."
The good news is that you have the capacity for resilience just like most other people. It may be that you need help to bring that capacity to fullness and fruition. But the capacity is there.
Additional good news is that adversity need not be a curse or an emotional black hole. People in all times and places have overcome astonishing roadblocks, losses and tragedies. In such circumstances they have found the capacity to choose hope and to be reasonably happy.
There is nothing extraordinary about it.
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